In this world, its not education that matters, nor people…its comfort with oneself.

One of the traits of giftedness is perfectionism.  Thus, my daughter is never satisfied with her self.  I tried to change the curriculum.  I tried to change her habits.  I tried to change myself.  Nothing worked, and I would see daily spirals downward.  What I saw that scared me most, was that I saw myself in her.

I used to blame my mom for the fact that she was never satisfied with what I did.  I never impressed her.  I used to blame my dad…his nonchalance meant that I could never impress him.  The truth that I have come to know….quite recently…was that I was never satisfied with myself.  I never performed to the top of my ability, and I knew it.  I was afraid of reaching a limit…and so I never wanted to try…yet I was always disappointed with my efforts.

Now I see my little one throwing a temper tantrum about a letter A.  It didn’t look good enough.  I can’t tell her that she is good enough…because she could never hear it. What did I need?  I needed to believe that I was good enough for myself.  So, I needed to coach her to deal with her own big emotions…and still love herself.

For myself, I could make a paradigm shift. Yet, I some how had to coach that.  Before I figure out how to do this, I need to explode my own personal limiting belief of not being good enough….not a good enough mom.

Lets see:

I am her ONLY mom.

Not only that, I was a gifted little girl

….and she has my genetics.

So I tell her: You are good enough.  But that A isn’t good enough….not for you.  You know you can do better, and you know how, right?  Yes, thats right…by practice. Keep practicing, and that A will be better…and then it’ll be good enough for you to be happy with your own A. Because I needed pushing…I needed to know that even if my work was good enough for others…I may need to push a little more for it to be my best…for it to be good for me.  I needed to keep going.  To go past the storm of emotion that makes me want to stop….because it is in the going past it that I come to love myself. I am the ALL TIME best person to be her emotional coach.  I’m chosen. I’m her mom.