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In this world, its not education that matters, nor people…its comfort with oneself.
One of the traits of giftedness is perfectionism. Thus, my daughter is never satisfied with her self. I tried to change the curriculum. I tried to change her habits. I tried to change myself. Nothing worked, and I would see daily spirals downward. What I saw that scared me most, was that I saw myself in her.
I used to blame my mom for the fact that she was never satisfied with what I did. I never impressed her. I used to blame my dad…his nonchalance meant that I could never impress him. The truth that I have come to know….quite recently…was that I was never satisfied with myself. I never performed to the top of my ability, and I knew it. I was afraid of reaching a limit…and so I never wanted to try…yet I was always disappointed with my efforts.
Now I see my little one throwing a temper tantrum about a letter A. It didn’t look good enough. I can’t tell her that she is good enough…because she could never hear it. What did I need? I needed to believe that I was good enough for myself. So, I needed to coach her to deal with her own big emotions…and still love herself.
For myself, I could make a paradigm shift. Yet, I some how had to coach that. Before I figure out how to do this, I need to explode my own personal limiting belief of not being good enough….not a good enough mom.
I am her ONLY mom.
Not only that, I was a gifted little girl
….and she has my genetics.
So I tell her: You are good enough. But that A isn’t good enough….not for you. You know you can do better, and you know how, right? Yes, thats right…by practice. Keep practicing, and that A will be better…and then it’ll be good enough for you to be happy with your own A. Because I needed pushing…I needed to know that even if my work was good enough for others…I may need to push a little more for it to be my best…for it to be good for me. I needed to keep going. To go past the storm of emotion that makes me want to stop….because it is in the going past it that I come to love myself. I am the ALL TIME best person to be her emotional coach. I’m chosen. I’m her mom.